RPCI Family Conference (29th April 2006)

On Saturday, we were at the Family Conference organised for the churches under our synod at Faughan RP Church's buildings on the eastern outskirts of Londonderry in the village of Drumahoe. (The name 'Faughan' is derived from the name of the river beside which the church's meeting house is located, which is shown on the left.)

The subject of the talks were "Keeping your Marriage Healthy" and were taken by Michael and Hilary Perrott. Initially we were reticent about attending as both a man and woman were speaking, which potentially would be contrary to our understanding of 1 Tim. 2:12, "And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence." After enquiring about how it would be organised with the man who was organising the speaker, we were satisfied with the way it would be conducted. (Of course, it was only the Davis's who asked these questions!)

Michael did most of the talking and used his wife as a sounding board for some questions, and she assisted him in various ways. It was done in such a way that you couldn't say that the men were under the woman's tutelage. It was as far as I would allow a woman to go.

The morning was given over to a talk from Michael, with Hilary's assistance, and the afternoon was a workshop session with discussions about being CAREFUL (communication, affection, respect, encouragement, forgiveness, unselfishness and loyalty). They had a lot of good practical advice to give and it certainly reflected the ethos of the Bible.

However, it struck us that there was very little Biblical foundation given for anything that was said, i.e. Scripture hardly brought in. Also it was all law and no grace. There was absolutely no mention of the need for God's grace to transform and maintain our marriages.

This is in great contrast to Al Martin's excellent talks on pre-marital counselling, which should be heard again and again throughout anyone's marriage, as well as bieng useful in the lead-up to marriage. These may be obtained from Trinity Baptist Church of Montville, New Jersey. I guess it is the contrast between the God-centred and Bible-centred approach of the Reformed churches and the man-centred and man-made approach of modern evangelicalism.